Coming Back to Life - I think...

I expected to need some time to decompress once I quit the JOB. I didn't expect it to take so long. I didn't fully understand the depths of soul sucking that had occurred over the previous 24 months. Not only was I spiritually depleted, I was physically depleted. I had physical manifestations of stress! My whole body ached. I expected to be back to my old self with in a month of quitting... Nope.

Over and over, I said I wanted to lose weight and get back to training. Over and over, I binged on TV and over ate. I joined some MFP challenges only to find them lackluster, non-motivating, and just a drag. The reality is, right now, I want to eat and drink what I like (mmm.... donuts). I'm so out of shape, it's VERY uncomfortable to workout (not to mention that I'm soooo slow).  So, why do it?

Why? Because, I want to be active and healthy now and when I'm 86. I want to be able to run my dogs on an agility course without sucking major wind. I want to have a clear mind with positive thoughts. I want to be out on my bike enjoying the scenery. 

Some how, I need to find the motivation to get myself out of bed in the morning and getting going early. I need to find the strength to keep my goals in mind all through the day and not over reward for workouts. Perhaps, I listen to Yoda (the whole "There is no try..." thing). Perhaps, I commit to just one thing say, Log everything in MFP for the next 3 weeks.

I've been here before. I know getting started and staying started is like catching teeth in gears. Keep trying and eventually, a tooth grabs. So, I'm starting again today.